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'Star Wars: Episode 7' Vs 'Batman v Superman': The Force Awakens Won The Great Trailer War Of Last Week

The Great Trailer War Of April 2015: How Star Wars Claimed Victory, And Three Others Walked Away With A Medal

Last week, the internet geekarati were treated to a wealth of movie trailers that more than likely broke the internet. Lines were firmly planted in the sand, friendships were ruined, many a loud brawl broke out at various upscale watering holes, where behatted and bearded men in their twenties and thirties were openly hostile towards one another, dissecting two and a half minute teases like teenage girls dissect the meaning of a text conversation.

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It's hard to contain the enthusiasm when you have five trailers for five of the most anticipated movies hitting all within about seven days of one another: Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Hateful Eight, Fantastic Four, a new Mad Max: Fury Road look and, of course, Batman v Superman: Dawn Of Grimness.

The first and the last one were the focal point of the aforementioned bar conversations. The way everything played out, it was just a great look both at what to do, and absolutely what not to do. To say that the Star Wars trailer played well is an understatement. On the day of the trailer release alone, Disney netted $2 BILLION in extra stock. It won the internet, it staked its claim boldly, loudly and cried out 'Lucas who?'. It's just that good.

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We were reasonably skeptical. While George Lucas was off this go-around in a galaxy far, far away, we can never get rid of the taste the Prequels left in our mouths. And even if you were skeptical at all of the 'hands', all of the new people, there was not a single adult left anywhere in any room when Harrison Ford, looking better than he has in years, softly said, 'Chewie, we're home.' We've been waiting.

The trailer debuted at the annual Star Wars Celebration - and we even got a first, albeit grainy look, at Gareth Edwards' Star Wars: Rogue One, the first spinoff film and finally, one that does not feature the Skywalkers.

Everything about the Star Wars: The Force Awakens trailer was perfectly timed and released. Disney had claimed that news cycle.

And then, there is the pretender: Batman v Superman. Now, we are the biggest critics of the whole 'watch this five second teaser for a teaser!' nonsense that has plagued the industry in recent years. Remember the original Cloverfield trailer? It just came literally without any notice whatsoever. On the opposite end, director Zak Snyder had some weird Twitter-based chicanery planned in the lead-up to today's big IMAX event, but leaking the trailer ahead of time, and in such poor quality, is not the way to do it.

There are Batman truthers out there who say that this was a 'deliberate leak' on behalf of Warner Bros. If that is true, which it is patently not, an entire department was just fired. The truthers would have a leg to stand on if, and only if, the trailer that was released onto YouTube was actually of any quality worth a damn. However, it was just a crappy cell phone cam taken from some unscrupulous jerk. And then to post that on the same day that one of the most well received trailers in many years, for one of the most recognizable and loved film series of all time arrived on-line, and you want to say it's all part of some marketing plan?

All news is good news, they say, but let's be honest: it's just a bad trailer. When the Avengers trailer leaked a few days in advance - an insider job - we were bummed at the lack of pomp and circumstance, but at least the trailer itself was awesome. The only press generated by the Batman v Superman leak were of derision and disdain. Warner Bros has gone full grimdark in the way that the Tea Party seems to get crazier with every news cycle: they're trying to appeal to a consumer whose goalposts keep shifting without thought of the consequences.

The funniest part about the Batman debacle (which is not quite at 'gate'-level worthiness yet) is that, if it were released or leak at literally any other time besides the day of Star Wars, it would have been received more positively. Visually, sure, it looks kinda cool but when you see Star Wars first and the light and drama and adventure on display, and then immediately head over and check out Bats, it's a significant drop in anticipation.

But those are just the two that got the most press. You should also definitely watch the Mad Max retrospective trailer, or the Hateful Eight teaser or even the really...'fantastic' Fantastic 4 trailer, which arrived without warning, pomp, circumstance, teases, pre-releases or press notice yesterday.

Here's your official 'watch' ranking. Take half an hour, watch these trailers in this order:

1. Star Wars
2. Mad Max
3. Fantastic 4
4. Hateful Eight
5. Star Wars
6. Mad Max
7. Fantastic Four
8. Hateful Eight
9. Star Wars
10. Batman v Superman

Oh, look! A new Jurassic World trailer just dropped, too! Without warning!

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