Dear Mom and Dad, I’ve asked for a lot of things over the thirty one or so Christmases I have experienced. Not a year went by that I didn’t want some new shiny console, and yet, you always refused.
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I was the only kid on my block without an original Nintendo. How messed is up that? Yeah, we had a pool but that only helps out for like two months in Massachusetts. Do you know the pain of not knowing what my friends were talking about was like? How was I supposed to know what a Gaiden was? I only ever knew Shinobi.
I needed it. I needed it for the same reason all little kids need something: because somebody else had it, and I didn’t. Was my Sega Master System not good enough? Technically speaking, it was not, but I suppose we made do. When we finally did get the Super Nintendo, it sure looked shiny alongside that Genesis we got; but not nearly as awesome as that Nintendo 64 which Mike down the street got a few months later.
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Looking back, I understand that I was immensely spoiled in this regard.
But that did not stop me from wanting any of them. So here is a list of the major, and not so major consoles and handhelds in descending order and the years I wanted them. Mom, Dad, I know I’m a grown man, but could you help out a little?
1. Wii U (2014) - no, seriously. This is on my current 2014 wish list alongside ‘someone to pay my off my student loan debt’.
2. Wii (2011) - my last one got jacked when my apartment was robbed a few years back. I have not bought myself a new system since then, I would like my thief to return it. There’s still a game disc in there I want back, and also, you forget to take all the controllers, so those are just hanging out doing nothing.
3. SEGA Dreamcast (1999-present) - I ask every year and Santa has forsaken me EACH AND EVERY TIME.
4. Game Boy (1991-1995) - wait…there’s a video game system…that I can take with me wherever I go? Sign me up. The only time I ever played this was at the orthodontist office, so unfortunately I kinda started associating it with bad oral hygiene and a mouthful of pain. I’m not too sore about this one, I have the 3DS now and it’s awesome.
5. Sony Playstation (2000) - hey! that was my little brother’s not mine. Doesn’t count. Still want one.
6. Nintendo Entertainment System - (1988-1991) - everyone else has it, why can’t I?
7. Game Gear (1996) - we actually did have one, purchased it early in the 90s. But, I lost mine, and I really want it back. It was the only handheld system at the time that I could both play and use to bludgeon a man to death should the need arise. (I wasn’t particularly strong as a kid…or as an adult for that matter)
8. NEO GEO (1994) - it seems silly now, but this really was the crowning achievement in video game graphics. How else were we going to show off the leet horsepower of that new 26” CRT we got that one year?
9. Xbox One / PlayStation 4 (TIE) - oh yeah, I should get around to these at some point. I don’t work in the most lucrative of businesses and most games are coming out on one or (more likely) both of the next gen consoles. Any help would be appreciated.
10. Nintendo 64 - another one I did not have. I became ‘that kid’ in high school and college and I will never forgive either of you, mom and dad. Ever. EVER.
These are a few of my favorite things. Well, they would be if you ever got them and showed that you actually loved me.
From all of us here at GameNGuide, may you get the gifts you deserve this year, not necessarily the ones you want. The unexpected is always the best.
Also, you should totally want a Neo Geo. Why? This commercial.
