To paraphrase one of fiction's most infamous of all shark chasers, "Jaws's" Quint once said, "Y'all know me. Know how I earn a livin'. I'll catch this bird for you, but it ain't gonna be easy. Bad fish. Not like going down the pond chasin' bluegills and tommycods. This shark, swallow you whole. Little shakin', little tenderizin', an' down you go. And we gotta do it quick, that'll bring back the tourists, put all your businesses on a payin' basis. But it's not gonna be pleasant."
This is where the paraphrasing ends. As a writer, I value my neck a lot more than two thousand bucks a month, chief. I'll get the hits for three, but I'll catch 'em, and retain 'em, for ten.
Personal contracutal obligations aside, us American viewers are now in the midst of Discovery Channel's "Shark Week." And more than that, it's their 25th anniversary.
So what better way to celebrate the Discovery Channel's most famous TV event (save for one somber Australian who found himself at the business end of a stingray) than to join forces with the most famous of videogame franchises, Grand Theft Auto?
A GTA mod, coming courtesy of a user named as JMoorfoot4, allows players the ability to pilot a massive shark that Peter Benchley would be proud of. Though it's a simple boat mod, it looks horribly impressive, and is far better than Jaws on either the NES in 1987, or Jaws Unleashed in 2006.
Check it out for yourself below!
With that business all said and done, please, show me the way to go home. I'm tired and I wanna go to bed. I had a 'lil drink about an hour ago and it's gone right to my head...