Sweet things come in pairs. The original Candy Crush was updated, and so to was its fizzy, carbonated spin-off - the New Coke of the Saga series, if you will - Candy Crush Soda Saga.
Candy Crush Saga Gets A Sugary Overhaul
Version 1.35.16 sends you back in time to back before they overloaded non-alcoholic beverages with the cheap knockoff version of sugar. In the latest episode, Cotton Candy Castle, players head to the medieval world and discover who, exactly, flooded the place with soda.
Yes, truly it is the great mystery of our - or any - time.
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The new episode adds 15 levels, creating a total of 270 sugary sweet dental problems for you to crush. Or rather, fizz. Or whatever the verb form of that home soda making machine would be.
From the official update page: "A Stickylicious new feature! Spread Purple Jam across the board to win the level. Can you handle the challenge?"
Can you afford the challenge? Can your parents? Can your dwindling retirement account? Can your teeth handle all that sugar?
Candy Crush Soda Saga is available for mobile devices and is entirely free to play. Or is it? Like soda itself, once it hits your lips... it's so good, and you just want more.
The game should come with a health warning. Not only for the anorexia of the wallet (wallexia?) that is a notable side effect, but also for perhaps encouraging children that soda is good for you. It is really, really not. Even Pepsi and Coke, the makers of the biggest recognizable brands on the planet even admit that maybe, just maybe soda isn't all that great for you.
But it's just a game...right?