On the third day after the war started, I killed an old man.
I’m still not sure why. Fear, likely. I had initially broken into his house in search of food. The area he lived didn’t have the roving gangs of others and hadn’t already been picked clean, so I headed there at night to see what I could scavenge. I walked in and ran into an elderly couple, who screamed and pleaded with me not to hurt them. I kept an eye on them while I looked through their house, grabbing all the food I could find in the fridge- mostly unmarked cans.
The old man followed me, pleading with me not to take his wife’s medication, to leave them some food. But I had mouths to feed back home, friends who had been wounded by a gang that had attempted to steal our own stuff. If I didn’t come back with something we had no hope. We had nothing.
The man started running through the house and I got scared- I thought he might be going for a weapon, or maybe someone else was the house, so I punched him once, twice, and he crumbled. He wasn’t breathing.
His wife screamed and screamed and I quickly gathered my backpack of stolen objects- all the food they had left- and ran off into the night.
This War of Mine is rough. I haven’t made it more than a week or so into any particular game, and I’m not sure I will ever make it further. Each new game gives you new characters to control that come from different backgrounds, but they’re always in the same situation- a civil war has started in their (unnamed) country, and people are struggling to stay alive during the siege. Unlike every other game that's been created you don't play a soldier or rebel, you play an ordinary civilian that's been caught up in this conflict.
Each time the game starts it’s roughly the same, as you enter a big apartment complex that will be your new home. You’ll dig through the rubble of the building for supplies and try to build some basic necessities in order to settle in. Meanwhile, bombs boom in the distance- close enough that you can see flashes of light through the holes in the crumbling walls. At first you only have limited supplies and have to make tough choices about what is necessary.
You have to get comfortable. A bed is a must at first so that your characters can take turns getting some rest, as is a machine shop so that you can start constructing things like shovels and lockpicks to better get through all the obstacles in your way. A radio provides news from the outside world and music that’s a bit soothing and can take your mind off things, books can be read or used as fuel when the days get cold. You’ll try to board up the bombed building and protect it from other scavengers.
Every night, you send someone out to find supplies. The more you search the more locations will come available, but each place comes with its own challenges. Some places might have people who are willing to trade, and one time I even ran across a gang going through a supermarket that greeted me and said that there was plenty for everyone, but you’ll always have to keep your wits about you.
That’s what’s the best and the worst about this game. You will hate who you become. When someone comes to your door and pleads for you to come and help them because his wife was hit by a sniper, you’ll want to ignore him, and maybe put someone else on guard during that night. Any bit of kindness is instantly suspect.
It’s also really rough to watch your characters get depressed, especially when things can get so bleak that they’ll choose to end their own lives. To watch them sink this low and be unable to do anything to help this is incredibly difficult. You can build things, you can stock them with supplies, but their actions and the circumstances they’re in are overpowering, crushing.
You’ve really never played a game like This War of Mine. I don’t know if one could call it a great game- can a game that you have to put down because it's so upsetting be considered great?- but it’s certainly an important one, one that will make you question your humanity and fill you with emotions you didn't think a game was capable of providing.
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This War of Mine was reviewed from a Steam code provided by 11 bit studios and is available now for $19.99. It's coming out for mobile devices as well so you can take your depression on the go.